Reminiscing

I've been doing a lot of self reflecting lately. I'm the kind of guy that does a lot of self reflecting on a regular basis already, but I'd say lately that it's been even more than usual.

Now I'm a pretty big fan of reminiscing usually. Who doesn't enjoy thinking of previous experiences that were so good that they've become ingrained in your mind? In fact, there are a number of different things in society that use the positive emotions that reminiscing can bring for profit. Just off the top of my head I can think of 'vintage style' video games, movies based on old series (ie: GI Joe, Transformers), toys (I'm convinced that the objective of Ninja Turtle and Star Wars Lego sets are to make the parents want to purchase the toy more than the actual kid that it is intended for), 'Throwback Thursdays', songs that sample older music, old timey cast reunions like the Saved By the Bell cast or the Seinfeld cast reunion.

Reminiscing is like a form of daydreaming where you think of the days when life was simpler, or so it seemed. It makes for a great escape and distraction from stressful situations in the current day.

However, last weekend I came to a crucial realization that made me change my opinion about my favorite past time. The realization was this:

Reminiscing is a trap.

It made so much logical sense after I gave it some real thought. Even though thinking about the past can bring up some great moments with friends, here are some reasons why reminiscing can become a trap:

1) Reminiscing makes things seem way better than they actually were: I'm no psychology student, but I have a theory that the brain has a tendency to cling onto and remember more positive experiences than negative ones. So when you think back about something with fondness, the pain and negative side of the story tends to get lost in the shuffle. Ex-girlfriends are a great example of this. Take it from a single guy, my thoughts tend to gravitate towards how great and perfect my previous relationships were and how foolish I was to ever give them up. When in reality, there needs to be something inherently negative with the relationship in order to justify a break-up.

2) Reminiscing makes you feel sad in a weird way: When you look back at a time in your life when you feel like you were most happy, your mind has a tendency to set that as your ceiling of happiness. It makes logical sense after all, if that moment was the happiest time of your life after so many years, there's a very small possibility that you'll reach another moment that's even close to being equal to or greater than that moment. And that is a bit of a depressing thought; to think that your best days are behind you. Which brings me to my next point.

3) Reminiscing limits your potential: After having such euphoric feelings about how good something felt in the past, it feels like a bit of a perfect storm that will never come again. You start to settle on the idea that it was a one-time thing that can never happen again. If you are reminiscing about a moment that was a really long time ago, then you add the idea that you were so much younger too, and it becomes depressing pretty quickly.

4) Reminiscing distracts you from your current life: Since the function of reminiscing is to normally escape from today's stressful circumstance, this one is a bit expected. But what I'm saying is that the mental stress and emotional rush that comes with reminiscing can really take you out of your current life and act as a potent distraction from what you in fact need to be doing to make this the best day of your life.


Long story short, I've resolved to do less reminiscing and more doing in my current life. It's easy to fall into a bit of depression when you honestly think you'll never be the same person again or get to experience the same kind of moments or feelings as you did in the past. I don't think reminiscing is a completely bad thing. It's always good to be mindful of past experiences and how you got to where you are today. But you have ot be careful not to get lost in thinking about how good things used to be.