Expectation vs. Reality

I've had a lot on my mind lately but no time to write about any of it. Finally I've decided against my better more sensible judgement, to sacrifice my usual bedtime in order to put out a new blog.

One of my favorite movies of all-time is (500) Days of Summer. It has a great way of looking at life in general in such a realistic yet quarky way. In one of the scenes, Tom is invited to a party that Summer is throwing. The two (who are ex's at the time) have gone through a rough transition into friendship, and Tom ultimately sees this as a sign from Summer that she is still interested in him. Because of this, he has a specific expectation of how the night will turn out. This 'expectation' is depicted on one side while the reality of how the night turns out is shown on the other side simultaneously (this video shows the first minute of the scene).

Lately I've noticed the comparison of my first 3 months in Calgary to this scene. To keep things straight, it's not that my move has been a terrible let down in comparison to what I first imagined it to be. It's just expectations vs. reality and the differences that can be good and bad.

What I've really realized is that when someone goes through a really big change in their life, the expectation of the outcome is usually grandly positive or negative. As with any big event or challenge, people tend to try and forecast the future in either a completely positive light or a completely negative light in order to prepare themselves. Rarely ever do you see a middle ground, and I think this is inherent because with big change there is rarely a time when someone goes from a satisfactory circumstance to another satisfactory circumstance.

At the beginning of the year when I was first preparing for the big move, I tried to see everything in a positive light. I mean, I was going from being unemployed to a full-time position that was an introduction to what may very well be the career of my life. Definitely something to be hyped about. When you start thinking positive, I think you start to get on a roll of how so many things change. In my mind, this was the list of great things that were to be accomplished when I moved:

Expectations from Calgary move:

- feeling of being more independent.

- a more balanced lifestyle between responsibility and fun.

- learning how to cook so many different dishes.

- meeting all kinds of new and interesting friends.

- growing in my job and feeling comfortable with where I am at.

- making lots of money and being able to save even more.

- having an opportunity to meet all kinds of new girls and potentially getting into a relationship.

- getting closer to God and finding an awesome church.

- challenging myself with trying new exciting things in life.

- working out more often and becoming ridiculously fit.

- maintaining a healthy diet from all the things I've learnt to cook.

- getting way better at basketball somehow.

- keeping my life so busy with exciting things that I miss home less.

When you look at that list, one word that comes to mind is ambitious. Especially when you compare it to the reality of the situation.

Reality:

- definitely feel independent.

- haven't seen that balance in responsibility and fun yet.

- cooked 1 new dish since being here.

- met a couple of people, 1 or 2 that I maybe reliably hang out with (once a week).

- definite growth in job and comfort level.

- work out once maybe twice a week if I'm lucky.

If I were given a percentile grade for how well I'm doing on that expectation scale, I would be lucky to hit 20%. Although it is disappointing, that's not the point of this message.

Even though things didn't work out as it is, it is important to note that I am happy with my progress. "But why would you be happy with less than 20%? Are you crazy?" you may ask. To which I would respond, Shut up hypothetical guy! Get out of my brain!

Anyway my point is that although I haven't reached those goals that I initially set for myself.. oh wow I lost my train of thought. I knew I shouldn't have addressed the ghost in the room. (1 minute later) Right, although I may have missed those goals, I can still be glad with where I am. Too many people see a big event as a big bright future and begin to harbor this giant expectation for the future. Then when they don't achieve all of the goals that they originally set out, they get depressed by it all and start to second guess themselves altogether. I think I mentioned in my last blog that a friend of mine has also had several friends move from Edmonton to Calgary. After only a short period of time, they begin to wonder why things aren't happening for them as they planned and begin to resent the move.

The point is there is only so much time in a day and only so much energy one person can have. Realistically if I were to try and attempt to complete all of the things on my expectations list, I would have to quit the very job I moved out here to do (which kind of defeats the purpose). I also believe that the key to measuring success in a person's life isn't about where they are at, but which direction they are going and how long they have been going in that direction. *insert offbeat basketball reference that no one will understand* Lebron and Wade stunk up the first 2 months of their 'superfriends' season. Lebron committed a ridiculous amount of turnovers since he was still adjusting to the new team. If he just based his future on the first few months of the season and got completely discouraged enough to give up on a title shot, the Heat wouldn't be in the Eastern Conference playoffs right now. That's how I'm feeling right now.

I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that people have been asking me how things are right now. As I want to be realistic, I let them know that it's a bit tougher getting used to things and finding people to hang out with. Yeah there are times that I think about coming back to Edmonton more often and having fun with what is familiar. But in the end, I truly believe that Calgary was meant to be my new home and that God put me here for a reason. It may not be the paradise that I originally made it to be, but I'm on the right track to something good.