This changes everything Pt. 1

Most people have heard by now that I quit my job as of yesterday. I've had the usual questions from various people, and I'm hoping to shed some light on the situation.

The most common reaction I get from someone just hearing the news is shock and surprise. "Why did you do it? What happened?" I think my worst kept secret has been that I hated my job. In fact I could list almost as many reasons why I hated my job as I can for why I hate my car:

1) The pay sucked.

2) Parking cost 100 bucks per month.

3) Wasn't in my field of study.

4) Raises are far and in between.

5) No room for promotion.

6) I had no respect for my company.

7) I didn't believe in the service we were selling at all.

8) My position involved too much work for one person.

9) Although most people were nice, I had to work with some particular douche-bags.

Given that the last reason is something we all deal with, that's a pretty strong argument to be unhappy at a job.

So what was the catalyst? What made me suddenly snap and give it all up? For most people who know me, they know that I'm not the type of person to make a rash decision. I tend to be very calculated and logical with my decisions, especially something as big as this. Needless to say, this decision has been a long time coming. Lots of times I would be hanging out at Tom's house and rationalizing the possibility of quitting my job, and what financial circumstances it would bring.

If I were to really point out the breaking point though, it would have been Monday. I was asked to do 2 reports that take an average of 2 days to do, each. I knew that one of them was going to be due that day, so I prepared for it and was going to have it done by the end of the day. But I only just heard about the 2nd report just before noon of the same day it was due. Naturally I brought it up with my boss wondering how Head Office could ask me to do something like that when it was physically impossible. He looked at me and said, "Well Head Office doesn't ask for much, so when they do ask for something we should just do it." I stared at him with a look on my face that's best described as a combination of frustration and "WTF are you talking about?" kind of expression. My boss wasn't willing to goto bat for me.

Now I'm stuck with a workload that's not only impossible to do for the given deadline, but it's also dependent on the work of other co-workers who aren't even in the office today. How did I become responsible for something so colossally impossible and dumb at the same time? Then again, that was always the story with my job; taking the responsibility and blame for shady processes and decision making. This was the last straw, I was done with this job.

Most people think of a grand gesture of disdain and hatred involved with quitting on the spot, myself included. Although it would have felt good, I knew it wasn't me. As the boring story goes, I walked into my boss' office and told him I couldn't handle the job anymore and that I was quitting effective immediately. To get things straight, I respect my boss. He's accomplished lots of things for someone his age, and we have a similar management style. However in this setting it seemed like we were always pit against each other and I didn't agree with most of his decision making. So we talked through all my issues with the workplace, then he offered to work with my in fixing everything and for me to stay in my position (definitely not expected for someone who is ready to quit on the spot). I thought about it for 15 seconds, then politely told him that I couldn't immerse myself back into that job and that I was mentally checked out. And with that I shook his hand and gathered my things.

How do I feel about the whole thing? It's a strange combination really. Obviously there's a feeling of nervousness and fear for the future. But I also feel proud of myself for taking a hard step towards my future. This job wasn't working for me financially, emotionally, and ethically. Once I realized how much I was compromising those values out of fear of uncertainty, I was able to take a hardline approach and quit.

Now that it's all behind me; the stress, unhappiness, and unfulfillment of my previous job, what really matters is what I do with the next step of my life. Am I going to seize this opportunity and fight the current of the water to get what I want? Or am I gonna wait until my boat drifts into where ever the waters take me (even if that's another crap job)?

I want to be realistic with my goals and outline them clearly. But most people know that I have a flair for the dramatic, and I can't help but think of a scene from one of my favorite movies "(500) Days of Summer". For those who haven't seen the movie, I'd gladly lend it to you. But for those who have, it's the scene where the character of Tom is finally getting over Summer and is ending his slump. He quits his job out of frustration (with a few choice words), and the whole sequence starts with him bouncing the tennis ball. I'd link the vid if youtube had it, but I can't seem to find it. You'll have to take my word in that it's a great sequence!

Pt 2 coming soon...