What else am I gonna do? Sleep? Psshh...

I think I think I'll make a blog tonight.

There's really no specific theme to it at all, just felt like I hadn't updated my blog in a while.

Some people have been wondering what I'm up to nowadays. I guess I'll address that question first. Lately I've had a lot of time on my hands as most of you know I quit my job at the church and am currently unemployed. Thinking that it'd give me the extra time to focus more on school and the things that need to be done, I found that this isn't necessarily the case. Instead, I bought a 360 and I've been relaxing more in my basement. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice change of pace, but money in my wallet would be nice too. That's why I've been mulling the idea over in my head over and over again about whether I should get a job.

Also with the free time, I've been able to sense that lately, God's been doing a number on my life. I've always thought that I would be able to handle any problem that I encounter with a faithful attitude towards God and an optimistic outlook. I feel like He's tested that theory to the limits lately. Why do I say that? Well here's a list of things that I've been struggling with lately:

1) Finances (No job = no income), along with that there are some hefty bills coming up here and there, so it's not like I can just slightly dip into any savings or anything. It's a pretty big stretch actually..

2) School. Although it's supposed to be my last year and all, I find myself going through the same cycle of wondering if and when I'll ACTUALLY be done school. The courses I'm in are harder than ever, and it almost seems to me like I don't know as much from my first 4 years as I should know at this point. I think that society makes a simple statement about post secondary, that I know was communicated to me after high school. "If you have the money to goto school, even if you don't know what you want to take or what you want to do, just go for it. Everything will work out." Now I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever finish. And I'm not just saying that in a dramatic way, I actually sometimes wonder what it would be like to drop out. This is definitely not good.

3) Church. I won't say too much, but I'll just say that I'm thinking about finding a better fitting church.

4) Career. I think with the 4 yrs of schooling behind me, it just complicates the issue more. I would have thought by now that I would have settled into my upcoming role as an accountant. However, the deeper I get into it, the more I realize that I'm not as passionate or suited for the job as I thought I'd be by now. It's that constant tug between what my parents want me to become (because I've obviously used up 4 years worth of tuition already), and what I feel like God is pushing me towards. (my insanely huge hunger for acting and creativeness).

On the same note of creativeness, I'm finding more and more roadsigns that tell me it should be something I pursue seriously. The dinner theatre company that I worked for last year has just asked me whether I wanted to do some upcoming shows for the next few weekends. Also with this exploring creativity class I'm currently taking as a 'non-business option', it's really challenging me to get off my butt and actually put into practice some of the creative ideas I wanted to pursue. Of course, the movie I was working on over the summer is supposed to come out at latest the end of October. And on top of this, I just received a random phone call today from my agency, that apparently some guy doing a photoshoot picked me out specifically from my headshots to shoot some photos for a promotion. Apparently I was the only person chosen from our agency because I have 'the look' and I'm supposed to meet with this guy on Monday. Apparently the shoot will pay $75 / hr and will most likely take 7-8 hours.

Now I repeat the word 'apparently' because it all seems too good to be true. Considering the fact that they didn't really go into detail why I was chosen, or how I was chosen really unsettles me. Also the fact that I have made no effort to keep in contact with my agency for over a year on purpose, and suddenly they call me up raises another alarm. There's also all kinds of scams and stuff going on, so you've always gotta keep everything in perspective.

Anyhow, if it does turn out to what it sounds like, I think it's pretty clear that God's giving me some hardcore signs about what my real passion is in. It'll be really interesting to see how the heck everything turns out.

On a completely separate note, I've found that I have a fascination with Tina Fey from 30 Rock lately. I've caught her a few times on late night shows doing interviews, and I can't help but notice that she's constantly a hilarious guest to have on a show. There just seems to be so much more to her abilities than I previously would have thought from her SNL anchor position. If you haven't already seen last week's 30 Rock premiere, you need to check out this clip. And if you have seen it, you need to check out that clip anyway, because I must've seen it at least 5 times now. Makes me laugh everytime, and I honestly think it's the BEST 30 Rock moment to date.

I guess what compels me most about Tina is how multi-talented she is. The fact that she's written tons of funny stuff for TV and Movie (including the Mean Girls script), and she also acts and stars in her own TV series. Also, although not many people know it, she's had quite the theatrical education from some fancy U.S. University. So naturally, she's really good at improv too, which would attribute to why she is such a funny guest all the time. Here's another clip that I stumbled across on YouTube, showing her comical goodness in improv. She's totally on top of her game at the moment, and is such a talented person. I think she'd be up there for people in the world that I'd like to meet. It also doesn't hurt that she's extremely hot.