Fucking cowards...

You'll have to excuse me for blogging for the 3rd time in one day, but something just happened that's just too big to not write about. I'm writing this blog just after I got home from the bus. This will be another long one, so be prepared. Also it'll prolly have lots of gramatical errors, but I just want to get my thoughts on the page before I
forget.

So I'm at Northgate bus terminal, and I'm standing inside of the bus shelter near the vending machines. I look on the north side of the bus shelter and see a bunch of teenagers standing outside and close to the door of the shelter.

Out of nowhere, one of the bigger teens begins to push and shove several of the other teens and just gets in their faces. For what reason I'm uncertain because I'm sitting inside the shelter. This punk (His name is Ass) about my height, gets soo into it that he's tipping the guys' baseball caps, shoving ppl into the glass of the shelter, and at one point picks up and tosses one of the guys (in which we'll call Dick from now on) onto the bus terminal road. Luckily the guy break falls and comes out unscathed..

Then, he especially begins to harass this one individual with a leather jacket (which we'll call Jeff). This guy has a really nice leather jacket, and Ass is just telling him to take it off and give it to him. Jeff of course just stands there and refuses. Ass pushes him several more times into the glass harder and harder, until it gets to the point where Ass suddenly sucker punches Jeff in the face.

At this point, it begins to arouse everyone's attention in and around the bus terminal. Then while Jeff is on the ground, Dick comes back and instead of expectedly attacking Ass, he starts kicking Jeff on the ground. And these are hard ass kicks mind you...

So Jeff is on the ground, while Ass is trying to pull off his jacket. Everyone in the bus shelter is praying for Jeff's safety, and I'm left there dumbfounded. This goes on repeatedly until a bus suddenly stops, and a bus driver walks out with cell phone in hand. The bus driver was calling 911, and Ass and Dick just run as fast as they can northbound.

So after the coast is clear, everyone gets closer to assess the damage and Jeff's nose is bleeding profusely and he can't get up. My guess is that his nose was probably broken, and that he was dazed from the whole incident. People begin pouring out and helping him up while I'm left to ponder about what just happened.

Luckily Jeff still had his leather jacket on him and there were ppl around.

But what really really gets me going is the fact that I didn't do anything. I know that I could easily use the excuses that it wasn't my business, or they could have had weapons, or there were too many of them, but I'm not going to.

Although at first they appeared to be all friends just being harassed by one drunk asshole friend or something like that, I still feel really guilty. I feel like I've let the community down, and let the Jeff guy down as well. Sure there could have been too many ppl there, or they could have had weapons, but the main underlying idea is that Jeff was getting the shit kicked out of him and I didn't do so much as move a muscle. This guilt only gets heightened by the fact that I've taken karate for so many years and am even an instructor myself. That Ass clearly didn't know how to fight because I interpreted his sucker punch at first to be a slap across the face.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why didn't I atleast try to help him at all? It just all happened so quickly and in such proximity that I could have easily gotten there before serious damage could have been inflicted. But the main underlying idea is that I didn't. Instead I chose to stand in the bus station, and witness someone get brutally beaten.
This sense of shame and guilt only gets more heightened by the fact that I was the only semi big guy in the bus shelter. Everyone else was either a woman/girl, or just a little boy. Why couldn't I help him?

I think this whole situation comes down to one of those fight or flight moments that you regret afterwards. I'm sure everyone's been mistreated at one point or another, and didn't stand up for themselves. Of course afterwards, so many scenarios play out of how you could have told that guy off, or you could have done something else. Well this was one of those situations, and I'm really angry at myself for the fact that I was too selfish to do anything. This situation didn't even involve me, which is why I think is the main reason why I didn't stand up for someone...

My feelings right now haven't changed much. I guess it's something that I'll be thinking about for a while, and which will hopefully possess me to act up next time. As for now, I can't believe how I didn't react. What the hell.......